January 9, 2006

Senate Judiciary Committee Experiences Burning, Itching Sensation



(We've often thought that the Senate was full of asses, we just didn't know that they were holy.)

This story is right up our alley. According to the Wall St. Journal:
WASHINGTON -- Insisting that God "certainly needs to be involved" in the Supreme Court confirmation process, three Christian ministers today blessed the doors of the hearing room where Senate Judiciary Committee members will begin considering the nomination of Judge Samuel Alito on Monday.

Capitol Hill police barred them from entering the room to continue what they called a consecration service. But in a bit of one-upsmanship, the three announced that they had let themselves in a day earlier, touching holy oil to the seats where Judge Alito, the senators, witnesses, Senate staffers and the press will sit, and praying for each of the 13 committee members by name.

"We did adequately apply oil to all the seats," said the Rev. Rob Schenck, who identified himself as an evangelical Christian and as president of the National Clergy Council in Washington.

[snip]

The three ministers insisted they weren't taking sides in the Alito debate. "This is not a pro-Alito prayer," insisted the Rev. Patrick Mahoney, director of the Christian Defense Coalition. With abortion, public prayer, gay marriage and right-to-life issues among those topping public debate, however, "God…is interested in what goes on" in the nomination hearing, Rev. Schenck said.
When asked, God had no comment.

8 comments:

  1. Struck me as more of a "where were the f*cking police?" thing.

    http://www.sugapablo.net/story.php?id=247

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  2. I did wonder as you did what would have happened if anyone else -- say a Muslim cleric -- was caught smearing stuff on doors and seats at the Senate, but I decided as usual to go for the CHEAP LAUGH.

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  3. geeeezzz, the security really makes one feel warm and fuzzy after 9/11 doesn't it?

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  4. maria - it's hard to be funny when all the best satire is now reality - like this. or like kissinger winning the nobel peace prize etc

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  5. So they blessed the seats (for the thinking??) and the door. Why not bless the microphones -- do holy oil and bombastic hot air create a volatile mix?

    Perhaps they were afraid God was too busy smiting Israeli leaders to pay attention to the hearings ???

    Sue

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  6. So, I guess if Patrick Leahy spontaneously combusts we'll know why. ;)

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  7. "We did adequately apply oil to all the seats,"


    I'm wondering exactly what an "adequate" amount would be...like, would a teaspoon not do the trick while a tablespoon would change the hearts (and butts) of those seated...? Would a gallon accidently smite the Jewish members, for instance?

    I never realized how technical this might all be...

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  8. If you sit on a seat that has been annointed with oil, won't you have a spot on your pants when you stand up? Someone get a camera!

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