Thursday Morning Massacre: The Movie

With discussion of the Thursday Morning Massacre taking on a cinematic bent -- and because we like flogging a dead horse -- we're certain that it won't be long until the Pittsburgh Film Office starts lobbying for the inevitable movie to be made here in the Burgh.

Wanting to keep in tune with Pittsburgh's new hi-tech rep, we've turned to myheritage.com's face recognition technology to cast the film.

Just keep in mind: My Heritage is the same website that claimed that Wendy Bell looks like Pamela Lee Anderson and that I look like Keira Knightley with my glasses off and Samuel L. Jackson with my glasses on.

(I'm only the messenger! Do not try this at home! Your results may vary!)

Thursday Morning Massacre: The Movie (as cast by myheritage.com)

Starring:

Josh Hartnett as
Mayor Bob O'Connor
And:

Meatloaf as Dennis Regan	John Cage as George Specter	Harold Ramis as Scott Kunka
Julia Roberts as B.J. Leber	Patricia Arquette as Susan Malie	Albert Finney as Paul Leger

With:

Dick Skrinjar as
himself

Jean-Paul Belmondo as Jim Ferlo	Colin Farrell as Yarone Zober
Sharon Stone as Marlene Cassidy	Adam Carolla as Fr. Terry O'Connor	David Letterman as Jon Delano
Tom Hanks as Doug Shields	David Hasselhoff as Jim Motznik	Dean Cain as Luke Ravenstahl

And:

Zach Braff as Bill Peduto	Missy Elliott as Tonya Payne	Beyonce Knowles as Twanda Carlisle
Jim Carrey as Len Bodak	Gael Garcia Bernal as Dan Deasy	Brad Pitt as Jeff Koch