The Laziest Son-of-a-bitch on the Planet

Nearly a year ago, while Trump was still looking for a running mate, the story came out that Junior reached out to Governor John Kasich's campaign with an offer to make him the most powerful vice president in history:

When Kasich’s adviser asked how this would be the case, Donald Jr. explained that his father’s vice president would be in charge of domestic and foreign policy. 

Then what, the adviser asked, would Trump be in charge of? 

“Making America great again” was the casual reply.

Of course, Junior denied that the conversation went down that way, but having witnessed the first couple of months of the Trump presidency, no one can doubt the truth of it as Donald Trump has proven to be The Laziest Son-of-a-bitch on the Planet.

How lazy? Too lazy to attend daily intelligence briefings. Too lazy to read the executive orders that he signs. Too lazy to "care or particularly know about health care."

And while he may have proclaimed that "I Alone Can Fix It" during his convention speech, it appears that instead, He went to Jared.

In addition to "working on trade, Middle East policy in general, an Israel-Palestine peace deal more specifically, reforming the Veterans Administration, and solving the opioid crisis," the First Son-in-law is now also responsible for “modernizing the technology and data infrastructure of every federal department and agency; remodeling workforce-training programs; and developing “transformative projects” under the banner of Trump’s $1 trillion infrastructure plan, such as providing broadband internet service to every American.

Whew!

White Nationalist Steve Bannon is, of course, in charge of blowing everything else up.

Aside from his main duties of tweeting and watching Fox News, Trump's responsibilities will be limited to visiting a Trump property one out of every three days, spending nearly one quarter of his time playing golf, and pining for the days when he could give Putin the old reach around in person, instead of virtually.