Prosecute the torture.

April 19, 2005

And we have a winner!

The new Pope is:



Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger of Germany (who was an "unethusiastic" Hitler's Youth --Whoo Hoo!)

His pope name is Benedict the 16th.

He favors the color red; is 78 years old; and was prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, formerly known as the Holy Office of the Inquisition.

Ratzinger is known to take conservative views on topics such as birth control and inter-religious dialogue so don't get any uppity ideas, you Americanos.

View his fan clubs HERE and HERE

UPDATE: ABC News just reported that he put out a memo that seemed to agree with those who said politicians who do not oppose abortion -- and the people who vote for them -- should be denied Communion. Sounds like he and W will get along just peachy! But don't we all just love a man in a uniform (or a dress)?

UPDATE II: Even my Catholic mother and grandmother are disappointed in the choice. Guess they should be as, while they are far from pro choice, they voted for Kerry. No communion for you, Bubba!

We also agreed that he should have taken the name Pius XIII instead of Benedict XVI.

3 comments:

Shawn said...

Opus Dei and Pat Buchanan are surely rejoicing. Andrew Sullivan, on the other hand, is badly shaken.

Ol' Froth said...

I think he should have taken the name Pope George Ringo.

djhlights said...

Benedict is actually quite fitting since the XIV over saw the church taking down the liberal Jesuits and alienating the converted in Asia’s ancestors to a point where they left the church in droves.

This time it will be the Americas, North and South and Europe. The Irish are more pissed than the Americans.