What Fresh Hell Is This?

July 12, 2005

Why Bush Cannot Fire Karl Rove (Illustrated!)


During a White House Press Briefing on September 30, 2003 President Bush said the following in response to a question regarding the leaking of Valerie Plame's identity, "... if there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. And if the person has violated law, the person will be taken care of." When asked at a post G-8 Summit News Conference on June 10, 2004 if he stood by his statement that he would fire whoever was responsible for the leak, Bush said, "Yes. And that's up to the U.S. attorney to find the facts."

At the Dedication Ceremony for the George Bush Center for Intelligence on April 26, 1999, former President George Herbert Walker Bush stated, "Even though I'm a tranquil guy now at this stage of my life, I have nothing but contempt and anger for those who betray the trust by exposing the name of our sources. They are, in my view, the most insidious of traitors."
A Newsweek article has now disclosed the first documentary evidence showing that Rove revealed that former Ambassador Joseph Wilson's wife worked at the CIA to Time magazine reporter Matt Cooper.

Once this fact emerged, President Bush knew what he had to do:


(The path from the Oval Office to Karl Rove's office)

President Bush heads down the halls of the West Wing with
Barney (for moral support) to go to Karl Rove's office and fire
him as promised.

But along the way, he accidentally drops Barney in front of a
group of ballplayers who happen to be passing by for a photo
op with Mrs. Bush. The girls are horrified and Bush must
retreat to have Barney checked over by the official White
House vet.

Bush decides for his second attempt to fire Rove that speed's
the answer and he sets off on his bike.

But this time it's Bush who falls down and goes boom.
Covered in boo-boos, he must retreat again to be treated
by the official White House vet...errr...doctor.

Still determined to keep his word and fire the leaker,
Bush decides maybe a high tech approach is best.
He heads out on his Segway.

Yet again, gravity thwarts our President from his mission
to keep his sacred honor.

Having tried three times unsuccessfully to fire Rove,
Bush takes his failure as a sign that Karl Rove must stay.
"Fuck it. This is hard work. Turd Blossom can stay,"
declares President Bush.

And once again Karl Rove is safe to roam the halls of the
West Wing and thumb his nose at the American people.


Ol' Froth said...

Don't forget, Novakula cited TWO White House sources. Who is the other traitor??

Maria said...

No idea -- do you have any ideas on that?

Umpire said...

Ha! Another snarktivist, I see.

Maria said...

Thanks for the link!