What Fresh Hell Is This?

October 24, 2005

Top Ten Things We Will Soon Learn About Patrick Fitzgerald

From A Tiny Revolution blog which obviously got the Far Right's Talking Points before everyone else:

1. He Murdered Vincent Foster

2. Is Son Of A Liberal Elitist Doorman

3. Claims He Spent Christmas, 1983 In Cambridge; Actually Was In Somerville

4. Casey Sheehan Would Be Ashamed Of Him

5. Is Irish, Not That We're Implying There's Anything Sinister About His Frequent Blackouts

6. Fathered John McCain's Illegitimate Black Child

7. Charles Krauthammer Thinks He's Crazy, And Krauthammer Is A Psychiatrist

8. Let's Not Forget That The Vatican—The Center Of His Religion—Is The Great Whore Of Revelation 17

9. A Friend Of Mine Knows The Cousin Of The Neighbor Of Someone Who Worked With Him In 1986 Who Says the Coffee Machine In The Office Cost 50 Cents But Sometimes You Would Put In A Quarter And It Would Start Working Which Meant it Had Eaten The Quarter Of The Person Ahead of You And Once They Saw Fitzgerald Get Coffee Like This Which Meant He Essentially Stole A Quarter From Someone In The Office, Which Really Brings Up The Character Issue

10. Michael Moore Is Fat


Shawn said...

Not too shabby, but I'm sure that Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin (sic?) have a few more trashi-, er, talking points ready to go.

Annie Coulter will likely point out his overall lack of masculinity and his connections to Teddy Kennedy.

Ms. Malkin will likley tar him as being sympathetic to al Qaeda and as being a "coyote" who has personally lead over 1,000 illegal immigrants into this country.

Just remember, proof is for suckers.

Ol' Froth said...

Hey!! I'm Irish!!!

crallspace said...

Hey, if he is responsible for indicting ANYONE from the worst, most corrupt administration in history, he can be a transsexual Nazi eskimo for all I care.

Maria said...

"Hey!! I'm Irish!!!"
Hey! These are the Rethuglican's talking points, not mine!

I'm (by why of A Tiny Revolution) am just the messenger.