What Fresh Hell Is This?

August 1, 2006

Thursday Morning Massacre: The Movie

With discussion of the Thursday Morning Massacre taking on a cinematic bent -- and because we like flogging a dead horse -- we're certain that it won't be long until the Pittsburgh Film Office starts lobbying for the inevitable movie to be made here in the Burgh.

Wanting to keep in tune with Pittsburgh's new hi-tech rep, we've turned to myheritage.com's face recognition technology to cast the film.

Just keep in mind: My Heritage is the same website that claimed that Wendy Bell looks like Pamela Lee Anderson and that I look like Keira Knightley with my glasses off and Samuel L. Jackson with my glasses on.

(I'm only the messenger! Do not try this at home! Your results may vary!)

Thursday Morning Massacre: The Movie
(as cast by myheritage.com)


Josh Hartnett as
Mayor Bob O'Connor


Meatloaf as
Dennis Regan

John Cage as
George Specter

Harold Ramis as
Scott Kunka

Julia Roberts
as B.J. Leber

Patricia Arquette
as Susan Malie

Albert Finney as
Paul Leger


Dick Skrinjar as

Jean-Paul Belmondo
as Jim Ferlo

Colin Farrell as
Yarone Zober

Sharon Stone as
Marlene Cassidy

Adam Carolla as
Fr. Terry O'Connor

David Letterman
as Jon Delano

Tom Hanks as
Doug Shields

David Hasselhoff
as Jim Motznik

Dean Cain as
Luke Ravenstahl


Zach Braff as
Bill Peduto

Missy Elliott as
Tonya Payne

Beyonce Knowles
as Twanda Carlisle

Jim Carrey as
Len Bodak

Gael Garcia Bernal
as Dan Deasy

Brad Pitt as
Jeff Koch


Jonathan Potts said...

Brilliant. I can't decide what is funniest. I think it might be Zach Braff as Peduto.

Maria said...

All blame/credit needs to go to myheritage.com.

Send all emails/cease and desist letters/law suits to them! :-)

PghLesbian said...

Zach Braff is hysterical ...Its a man crush dream come true.

PtBreeze said...

Is it true that Bodack is running for City Controller?

Sherry P said...

this was brilliant!

Judge Rufus Peckham said...

Wow! This is going to be an epic, like one of those disaster flicks from the '70's with an all-star cast. Looks like Skrinjar will have to play himself.

Maria said...

Disaster from the 70's -- yep, that about describes much of Pittsburgh city government.

Maria said...

Maybe that's why they want to cut the size of council -- it will save on the budget for the talent.

Tony Norman said...

You've outdone yourself this time, Maria. My goodness. How do you ever expect to get a job in city gov'ment after this atrocity? Holy smokes!!!
Tony Norman

Ms. Monongahela, Ms. Chief Editor said...

This is truly inspired work, Maria!

Funny, but when I input Skrinjar's mug into myheritage.com, he came out a dead-on doppelganger for Pamela Anderson. In fact, so did Tony.


Maria said...

Believe it or not, I usually went with the most flattering choice -- you should have seen who some of these people came up as...males as females, females as males, etc.

Though how Koch came up as Brad Pitt, I'll never know...that was his #1 match.

dayvoe said...

Blah, blah, blah...

Can we please talk about something I posted?

Green with envy,
The Other Political Junkie

Anonymous said...

great posting!