Prosecute the torture.

October 6, 2006

Regan Not Replacing Miller

In response to rumors running rampant throughout the city today, Mayor Luke Ravenstahl was forced to officially deny that Dennis Regan will be replacing actress Sienna Miller in the film "The Mysteries of Pittsburgh" in addition to his duties as Director of Operations and Public Safety Director.

Miller (pictured right) ignited a controversy when it was revealed in the Post-Gazette that she had called Pittsburgh "Shitsburgh" in an interview in Rolling Stone magazine.

The actress was also quoted as saying, "Can you believe this is my life?" Will you pity me when you're back in your funky New York apartment and I'm still in Pittsburgh? I need to get more glamorous films."

The 24-year-old fashion trendsetter and star of "Layer Cake," "Casanova" and "Alfie" plays the debutante in the screen adaptation of Michael Chabon's novel, which is set in Pittsburgh in the 1980s.

Her main claim to fame, however, remains as the woman Jude Law cheated on with the nanny.


Mayor Ravenstahl (pictured right) said in his official statement, "C'mon, guys, it's not like I can just give Denny any job in town. "

When asked if Regan had requested the job, Ravenstahl neither confirmed nor denied, but said, "I think obviously we have a great guy in Regan and I bet he could play that role."

He added, "He's not all stuck up in the more elite facilities. He's just like us regular folks."

Dennis Regan was unavailable for comment.

4 comments:

Gloria said...

Maria,

Brilliant, you've really outdone yourself!

I don't think everyone has to love Pittsburgh, there's days I'm ready to take a torch to it myself. But, the woman has absolutely no common sense.

O said...

That's pretty funny, that is.

Shawn said...

Re: Luke's Pic

So, if that pic is accurate, does that mean that Luke is good friends with Sifl and or Ollie? 'Cuz if so, that be crescent fresh!

Jesus is a liberal said...

Gotta love the sock puppet!