What Fresh Hell Is This?

March 14, 2013

Damn your eyes!

Frances is at it again...No, no...The other Frances. She's written "The Ballad of Luke Ravenstahl" which you can listen to here. The lyrics are below the fold. After hearing it, I felt sufficiently moved to create an album cover for this post.

The Ballad of Luke Ravenstahl
Well my name is Luke Ravenstahl (Ravenstahl!)
An’ I'm givin' up my job at City Hall (City Hall!)
My name's Ravenstahl, an' and I done took a fall
No more movin' forward-- now I’ll just play T-ball!
Damn my lies!

Got a lap dance from a stripper, so they said (so they said!)
I'm not a real great tipper, so SHE said (so SHE said!)
I need lots of bodyguards and left Pittsburgh in the red
And now I’m lookin’ right at old Peduto-head
Damn FOUR eyes!

I saw Jack Wagner in the crowd (in the crowd!)
I saw Snoop Lion?! in the crowd (in the crowd!)
I saw Nate lyin’ – Harper -- in the crowd, and I said, "Hey Is that Lisa?
Ah, you can go ahead and put that on my Visa."

[Instrumental Break]
Then Michael Lamb he came to, he came to
And said (just like this!) “Luke, you’re creating quite a mileu.”
You’re going down real fast
Quit bein’ such an ass
“I’m Michael Lamb and I ain't nothin' like you”
Damn his eyes!

Darlene Harris I didn’t even know,
Cause her bangs were hanging re-e-e-ally low
An' I said, "Well hey, you're not Darlene --
don't be such a jag!
Oh I see! You're just Jim Ferlo --in drag!"
Damn your eyes!

Looks like I'll be leavin', I must go
I’ll see you all in hell, don’t’cha know?
I gave it all I got to save our melting POT (Don’t’ worry Snoop, your stash is safe!)
Chris Potter I’ll see YOU in the Parking Lot!
Damn his blog!

My name is Luke Ravenstahl
Everybody’s runnin’ for my office – it’s a free for all!
I may not have been the best
But at least I don't host "FontanaFest"
Luke Ravenstahl – got that, y’all?! -- Damn your eyes!

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