And let me just say that as a proud lefty, I am so proud to be a part of the dismantling of the God-fearing capitalist system now in place in Amur'ka. Thanks to the socialist take-over of our healthcare system (and therefore our entire economy) by my socialist, Kenyan-born president, B Hussein Obama, I'm now paying $180 per month less for my healthcare (AND I get a lower deductible AND a dental plan to boot!). All it cost was the God-given freedom all those regular Amur'kans felt entitled to.
So what's next on the progressive agenda? Luckily, I've received the latest policy directives from the Soros Institute and according to that list, here's what we have to look forward to:
- The immediate seizure of all financial assets held by citizens 200% above the national median income
- The immediate seizure of all non-military, non-police issued firearms (items to be replaced by a guitar, flute and the sheet music for "Kumbaya" and/or "The Times, They Are A-Changin'")
- Immediate prison sentence for anyone speaking out against the above seizures (no trial, just immediate prison)
- Seized moneys will pay for among other things, the following new guv'ment programs; Mandatory birth control issued to all post-adolescent women, Mandatory guv'ment issued/guv'ment approved pornography mailed to all citizens, Guv'ment issued laptops, iphones, and compact cars for all urban-dwelling, unemployed citizens, Mandatory loyalty oaths (to be signed and returned) declaring fealty to either the religious skepticism of Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, or Neil deGrasse Tyson or the Liberation Theology of Jeremiah Wright
- Automatic citizenship for anyone walking (or swimming or being smuggled) over the US-Mexican border (along with the standard issue guv'ment phone, laptop, car, porn and birth control)
- Strict term limits for all Republican/Tea Party legislators
- Reinstatement of the Fairness Doctrine
- Reagan International Airport to be renamed Cesar and Hugo Chavez International Airport
There it is, folks. It's all on the Internet, so you know it's all true.
PS If you don't get that this is sarcasm, you're not smart enough to read this blog.