What Fresh Hell Is This?

April 13, 2017

White House Staff Discovers Best Method to Communicate with Boss

According to several sources, West Wing staffers have found a new best way to get the President's attention and impart information to him. Previously, if a top level staffer needed to inform the President of something important, they'd book an appearance on Fox News -- knowing he'd very likely see it and believe if it was mentioned there. Another method used would be to try to get Alex Jones to say it on his Infowars program. Lastly, they'd jockey to be the last person in the room to speak to him, hoping that their words would survive his general lack of interest and astonishingly small attention span. 

But now they are going for a much more direct method -- through his stomach -- after it was revealed in a Fox Business interview that while the President may not remember which country he bombed, he sure as hell remembers that bomb chocolate cake.

The following are some recent "memos' to the President:

While the First Lady and First Lady Daughter may object to the added pounds, White House staff realize that the fate of the world may depend on a bit of flour, sugar, cocoa, and eggs.

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