What Fresh Hell Is This?

November 23, 2004


The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea lecthim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him").

Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, and in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially virulent disease.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea lecthim include, but are not limited to: Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior.

(Thanks to Mike at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/WPAforKerry/message/980 )

1 comment:

Mark Rauterkus said...

What about the new rash that is sweeping Pittsburgh this winter and spring:


Comes from hugging and a peck on the cheek from Bob O'Connor as he tries for his third run at the mayor's race.

Cure: Long, 3 to 5 minute embraces. Bear hug him like a clam and avoid the pain of hearing him speak on the issues. If he only hugged, we'd all be safe. So, don't let go.