Forget the Zombie Apocalypse, here's the real signs that the End Times are upon us:
1) The Pittsburgh Pirates are tied for first place! (Yes, the baseball team.)
2) Lil Mayor Luke suddenly discovers that he's for same-sex marriage! (That would be just in time for PrideFest and just two months after he wasn't. Sniff, sniff. Is that an election I smell?)
3) Lil Mayor Luke also comes out as pro choice! Just kidding! I guess we all can relax -- the world's really not coming to an end.