McCain-McBeam 08!

When KDKA's Jon Delano interviewed presumptive Republican presidential nominee John McCain this week he "recounted how he would recite the Pittsburgh Steelers defensive line-up to his North Vietnamese captors."

McCain, the Republican candidate for president, says he naturally thinks of the football team whenever he thinks of Pittsburgh.

"The Steelers really made a huge impression on me -- particularly in their early years."

In fact, McCain explains how the team helped him during his time in a POW camp.

"When I was first interrogated and really had to give some information because of the physical pressures that were on me, I named the starting lineup -- defensive line -- of the Pittsburgh Steelers as my squadron-mates!"

Only one problem with that: in the past (and in his book and in a made-for-TV movie), McCain's always claimed that it was the Green Bay Packers lineup -- not the Steelers -- that he named to his captors.

Countdown made it their first story last night:


2 Political Junkies has learned exclusively that this seeming pander to the Steeler Nation was to be only the opening salvo of a multi-pronged campaign to win over the crucial swing state of Pennsylvania.

A remake of the McCain "My Christmas Story" ad was set to run in Western PA. In the new ad, instead of his captor drawing a cross in the sand,

he drew this symbol:

(A Philadelphia-themed ad had an image of a cheesesteak sandwich sketched in the dirt.)

Reportedly, the campaign was to culminate with McCain naming Pittsburgh Steeler mascot Steely McBeam as his running mate. (After numerous rounds of focus groups nationwide, it was found that the frightening, soul-stealing, universally-hated McBeam was the only one able to make McCain appear in comparison "upbeat and friendly" to so called low information voters.)

McCain-McBeam 08
(Artist Rendition)
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BREAKING NEWS:Steely McBeam Begins Feasting On Pittsburgh's Children

When reached for comment, he said, "What's the problem? I need their innocent life essense in order to maintain my physique. It was either that or steroids, you know."

Take that, Carbolic Smoke Ball!